Its quiet this morning. And its a quietness thats only present at this time of the day. Out of the window, towels round their necks, many have just finished their morning jogs. The playground's still empty, for the children aren't out to play yet. It is eight in the morning.
Haven't woken to these quietness and peacefulness in a long time, and I haven't sent my mummy off to work in a long, long time. This reminds if of those times in primary school, where everyday after school, I would send mummy off to work. Today its just me and my sister. And Charlene later. Its so peaceful now, I feel like I finally have time for myself, or something. I do miss playing bridge with the everyone, with licheng bidding like crazy.
Holidays are here, which means training and training, no school, ANIME. and ART FRIENDS. (= Sorry Weiqing, I wasn't there yesterday. Your lazy friend was sleeping away. I have many things to say to you, and fears of my own as well. Because they are catching up to me very soon. Time waits for no man. I can't stop time, and that day will come. Those days will come. And "no" is not an option. "Cannot" is not an option. Same for you, same for me. I've been watching America's next top model. There are things we must give up, our shortcoming we have to overcome. Just because I hurt my knee, and you your hip, its no excuse, because no one will look at us, and go, oh, she actually can make it, its only because of her injury thats why she can't. Few people understand this situation, because they aren't in it themselves. This fear, and what we have to do to overcome all this. But there are people before us who have done it before. They are people I look up to, and people I will follow. My knee has taught me many things. and I'm sure your hip has taught you many things too. I used to think I was unlucky, I used to think so many things, that I feel is so senseless now. I don't think giving up is wrong, I don't think letting go is bad. I think each story is different. Whichever path you take, whatever you do, I am here for you. I know how difficult it is. I cannot say that we will both succeed. Everyone tells me I can, everyone tells me I will. Everyone just naturally thinks I can, or just believes that I will. There is something more I need. And that can only come from myself. On the tramp, who can push me, who can force me, if I am still scared myself, and I refuse to do it?
Its not that I don't want, its that I really, really cannot. My voice was yours too. I will always be there for you. And we need to find strength to tell ourselves that we can. I believe you have the talent in track. I believe I have the ability to complete bdiv beautifully. My body can do, so can yours. Its our thinking, our mentality, that may sometimes hold us back. In gym, Amanda will push me, everyone will tell me that I can. What's most important is that I tell myself I can, and I believe that I can.
To anyone who is reading this, everything is possible, especially if someone has done it before. We are all built basically the same. The same muscles, the same limbs. Before us, our seniors have done it before, your teammates may have done it before you. It just goes to show that it is
humanely possible. The difference is how fast you learn. Maybe you learn more slowly, but once you get it, you get it and keep it. The difference is also in whether you think you can. If you think you can, you give your all. If you think you can't, you hold yourself back.
Especially if you aren't injured in any way. If whats holding you back is your fear of some dongzuo, its normal. It is perfectly normal, but just know that so many people before you have feared that same dongzuo, but got over it, and did it well. And you can too. Then get over it.
加油Weiqing, things for you and I may be a bit different. But we can, can't we?
Love, Rina
